Familiesthemselves are collective, and at best, collaborative. They take myriad forms, not limited to blood and legal ties, which aim to provide loving, supportive learning environments. Humans learn a lot about themselves as they shape their connected lives with mindful intention. As you take this course, you may find it helpful to “take stock” of what you and your family members know about its constellation of influences, past and present, as you create intention around your hopes for the future. This is a tilling of personal soil and a planting of seeds. Practices and celebrations you design with and for your family will be the nurturing of these seeds, fostering the blossoming of your family’s values and bonds.
Below are some questions to help you take stock.
- Name three core words that express the vision and values your family strives to uphold. How often are these three words said, heard, and read in your household?
- How do you check in with family members’ feelings, emotions, dreams, and well-being? Does your family hold time for intentional listening and dialogue about emotions?
- How does your family approach problem-solving? How does your family express feelings with one another? What are the core activities through which your family bonds?
- How does your family play together? Eat together? Work together? Rest together? Express gratitude together?
- If walls could talk, what are the walls of your home saying to your family each day? Whose pictures (photos and artwork) are displayed?
- What is your family’s cultural and ancestral heritage? What recurring stories are told about those who came before you?
- Identify some traditional aspects from each branch of your family tree: an object, symbol, phrase, or song.
- Who are your family’s shared heroes – those whose ideas compel admiration and connection? Who exemplifies the qualities to which your family aspires?
- What are your family’s favorite annual celebrations?
- Are there humanitarian and environmental causes that your family supports?
- What yearns for healing in your family? What are the chronic stressors within your family life? What are the “elephants in the room”? Is there suffering in any member of our family? Are there particular parts of the day or week that are repetitively challenging?
- How might your family already be “designing their own solutions?”
This is an inventory of a kind, a diagnostic, that may change over time and is worth revisiting. You may choose to address just a few of the above questions at a time. As a rooting process, it offers a ground from which to grow. You may use your answers to inform the process ahead.
Ideas to share Taking Stock Questions with family:
- Exploring question 3, you might watch a movie about a family’s vulnerability (for example, “CODA” or “Encanto”) and have a family discussion after it to see what emerges.
- Questions 4 and 8 could become a dinner conversation where each person gets a chance to name a hero or a focus of their gratitude.
- To address questions 5, 6, and 7, you might begin a FAMILY TREE WALL in your home. A fun way for children to recognize the connective tissue of families is to create a family tree or Venn diagram, illustrated with photos and drawings and labeled well so children can get more and more familiar with the characters of their history.
