We can choose to invite involvement. Calling upon the multiple intelligences of humans can bring ease to otherwise stressful situations. For example, singing instructions that guide children in routine expectations can often help them connect to the flowing sensibilities of the right brain. Even just adding a song-like tone can help. A clean-up song is an obvious example of this. Tone and touch can equally invite and repel participation.
We can choose to provide choice. Everyone needs to feel they have choices in order to readily engage and find joy in the shared work of any group. As a co-architect of family dynamics, it is important to offer an acceptable range of choices about how family members participate in their contributions to self-care and family-care. There is certainly an art to creating the palate of acceptable choices. This choice-making process can apply toward children in every realm, offering them empowerment each step of the way. Sometimes you have to really dig into your creativity to discover the choice-making aspect of what you feel are imperatives. For example, for safety and security reasons, when there is no lifeguard at the beach, choices include making sandcastles and walking, but not going into the water. Family members who are not “joiners” must be respected, too, so giving a choice to respectfully pass on a group go-around, for example, honors that. Family members who are not huggers need their boundaries supported as well.
